Fruitful Old Age

This morning, between boiling water for my breakfast tea and pouring it into the pot to brew I was struck with a bout of vertigo that sent me back to bed until 12:30 this afternoon. Candy and I swapped roles, and she became the gracious caregiver along with excellent support from our daughter-in-law Rachel. I had intended to work on preparing our income tax information. Perhaps I’ll get to that tomorrow as 6-11 inches of snow are predicted, so will not be going out tomorrow. After Meclizine and gradually taking some safe nourishment I began to revive. I was already dressed, but changed into sweats and spent much of the day in the glider, wrapped in a cozy blanket with a heating pad on my back that has had some pains off and on for about a week, taking time for a luxuriously leisurely walk through my lectio divina and Psalm prayers.

Today my focus was drawn to Jeremiah 17:7-8. “Blessed are those who trust in the Lord, whose trust is the Lord. They shall be like a tree planted by water, sending out its roots by the stream. It shall not fear when heat comes, and its leaves shall stay green; in the year of drought it is not anxious, and it does not cease to bear fruit.” I was immediately aware of the parallel image in Psalm 1:3. Those who meditation on God’s law “are like trees planted by streams of water, which yield their fruit in its season, and their leaves do not wither. In all that they do, they prosper.” This took me back to my reflections on Psalm 93:12-14 that I posted on December 23 last year.  “The righteous flourish like the palm tree, and grow like a cedar in Lebanon. They are planted in the house of the Lord; they flourish in the courts of our God. In old age they still produce fruit; they are always green and full of sap.” (I always chuckle at thinking of myself as full of sap.) http://nstolpepilgrim.blogspot.com/2018/12/to-be-flourishing-fruitful-tree-in_23.html  and to my reflections on needing to focus on my inner life and relinquish some of my external engagements. http://nstolpepilgrim.blogspot.com/2019/01/nada-te-turbe.html and http://nstolpepilgrim.blogspot.com/2019/02/i-held-my-peace-to-no-avail.html Then today’s Psalms brought me to Psalm 71:9,18. “Do not cast me off in the time of old age; do not forsake me when my strength is spent. … So even to old age and gray hairs, O God, do not forsake me, until I proclaim your might to all the generations to come.”

As I reflected on the image of a tree planted by a stream with roots that can get water even in drought on a day when my physical strength sure seems spent, I started considering what flourishing spiritually means for me in old age. Whether anyone else thinks 72 qualifies as old age, I take the 70 years, 80 if we are strong, from Psalm 90:10 as qualifying me, and I remember when Candy was in the ER in Dallas before being diagnosed with Alzheimer’s in 2016. The pharmacist went over the list of meds she was taking and questioned one in particular as being inappropriate for elderly patients. She responded, “I’m not elderly!” To which he replied matter of factly, “You’re over 65.” Perhaps not the best bedside manner, but it has helped us lay claim to the biblical imagery for old age. Yes, we hope to have a good decade ahead of us (my Dad made it to 83, perhaps I could make it to 85 in decent shape). Still I have recognized we are on the homestretch of our journey with Jesus, living in tents until we arrive at the city with foundations whose builder and architect is God (Hebrews 11:9-10).

So on this day of sitting on the sidelines, once I got where I could sit up and read, I have been pondering what flourishing and being fruitful in old age means for me. I remembered Father Dacian Bluma who was my spiritual director when we were he Wisconsin in 1997-2000. He was a Franciscan priest in his 90s. His diocese ministry assignment was youth ministry. He went to various diocese youth events with no program responsibilities. He just sat in a comfortable, accessible chair available to youth and adult leaders who wanted to just chat. I’m not 90 (and I may never be). Caring for Candy does call for more than sitting and chatting and must be my focus, which largely means being present to her. Perhaps just being open to presence in the community life of our family (near and far), Spirit of Peace Lutheran Church, Milwaukee Mennonite Church characterizes what flourishing and fruitfulness will be about in the anticipated decade ahead of us. Of course, this calls for keeping being present to Jesus a lively priority, much in keeping with my growing sense of call to nourishing my inner life and relinquishing external distractions that deplete peace and joy.

  

I Held My Peace to No Avail

The last couple of months I have been purposely trying to focus on my inner life with Jesus and being present to Candy, my wife with Alzheimer’s, and reduce and refrain from external engagements and entanglements that distract and detract from peace and joy. I have turned down preaching opportunities and chosen to stay out of several on-line discussions in the realms of theology and religion, politics and public policy, social and cultural trends.

I have found this more challenging than I expected, and have made comments and had conversations that are external. Generally my thinking is that memes, slogans, Tweets, Face Book posts are so abbreviated that they miss the complexities and depth of the issues to which they want to speak. I often have the urge to write or say, “But there is much, much more to this. Have you considered … ?” Several times a day I tell myself, “I don’t need to get involved with this. My input doesn’t change anyone’s opinion anyway, and others are expressing alternate ideas better than I can.” Still, I have not resisted every urge to post or speak to something biblical or historical, or offer a documentable correction to clear factual error. I always have the hope that I do it in a way that prompts people to think rather than argue. Of course, I acknowledge that is a slippery slope into hubris, which I find so abhorrent when it surfaces in public life.

Then my prayer Psalms today brought me to Psalm 39:1b-3a, and I recognized myself.

I will keep a muzzle on my mouth as long as the wicked are in my presence.” I was silent and still; I held my peace to no avail; my distress grew worse, my heart became hot within me. While I mused, the fire burned.

Even before I got to Psalm 39 this morning, in my lectio divina this week I had been connecting Isaiah’s experience with the humility of recognizing that my words are not what changes people or even what they are paying attention to. This morning the Psalmist and the Prophet collided in my soul. After his stunning vision of God and searing of hot coal on his lips, God sent Isaiah speak even though the people would, “Keep listening, but do not comprehend; keep looking, but do not understand. Make the mind of this people dull, and stop their ears, and shut their eyes, so that they may not look with their eyes, and listen with their ears, and comprehend with their minds, and turn and be healed.” (Isaiah 6:9b-10)

The Psalmists response was to recognize personal, human mortality – “the measure of my days,” “how fleeting my life is.” (v. 4) As I have gotten older (now past the 70 years of Psalm 90:10), I have drawn considerable comfort from seeing myself as God’s “passing guest” (39:12) and am finding some solace in that image as I relinquish turmoil about externals to focus on inner peace and joy on my homestretch with Jesus. I suppose formulating all of this in writing and making it public could be an external distraction, but somehow clarifying my inner thoughts helps me understand and release them.

Who Inherits the Land/Earth?

Much of what Jesus taught echoed and built on the Hebrew Scriptures with which his audience had some familiarity and some knew very well. He often used that as a starting place to probe to something much deeper than the popular understandings of the time, which I suspect would be true for us as well if we paid attention and really let his words work their way into us.

Most important is how he used Deuteronomy 6:5 and Leviticus 19:18 to sum up not only the Law but his teaching and, of course, God's expectation to love God and love our neighbors (even those who consider us their enemies). Matthew 22:36-40; Mark 12:28-31; Luke 10:27.

As I came to Psalm 37 in my prayers this morning I was reminded of what I already knew, the the beatitude, "Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth." (Matthew 5:5) comes from Psalm 37 and extends "the land" to "the earth" as well as adding richness to what Jesus may have had in mind for the "meek."

v. 11 "The meek shall inherit the land, and delight themselves in abundant prosperity."

v. 22 "Those blessed by the Lord shall inherit the land."

v. 29 "The righteous shall inherit the land, and live in it forever."

v. 34 "Wait for the Lord, and keep to his way, and he will exalt you to inherit the land."

overflowing with love, knowledge and full insight

As more and more details come out about the recent incident in Washington D.C. it seems ever clearer that there were neither innocents nor heroes. A lot of the comments that seek to assign blame seem to be attempts to avoid painful self-examination. I know I posted yesterday about not getting sucked into these troubling issues for the good of my soul, but then this prayer in my regular rotation through the prayers in the New Testament Epistles seemed especially pointed to the clashing of fragments of our society. I know this was written/prayed for a church, a community of Jesus’ disciples, and not all of Philippi or the Roman Empire, but it prompted me to pray this morning that those of us who follow Jesus could be and teach that overflowing with love, knowledge and full insight will take the whole society to what is best (or at least better) when it comes to addressing the clashes in our increasingly fragmented and hostile society.

Philippians 1:9-11

“This is my prayer, that your love may overflow more and more with knowledge and full insight to help you to determine what is best, so that in the day of Christ you may be pure and blameless, having produced the harvest of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ for the glory and praise of God.”

Nada Te Turbe

Since a little before Christmas I have tried to give more attention to my inner life and not get drawn into external issues (politics, theology, economics, tensions, conflicts, church issues, preaching). I must confess to having been only somewhat successful. This weekend as friends and family and the communities of Milwaukee Mennonite Church and Spirit of Peace Lutheran Church celebrated our 50th wedding anniversary (without checking with us - the real day is Friday, January 25) and I finished preaching for the third weekend in a row, I feel a renewed impetus to step up attention to my inner life with Jesus and my calling to walk closely with Candy on this leg of our pilgrimage. While she is doing well with her Alzheimer's, I sense she more and more needs the assurance of my presence. So I am going to try to exercise a little more restraint about what I respond to and may even discontinue some things and connections that disturb my peace. In my Psalm prayers today 51:8,12 "Let me hear joy and gladness. ... Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and sustain in me a willing spirit."

Nada te turbe, nada te espante;
quien a Dios tiene, nada le falta.
Nada te turbe, nada te espante:
sólo Dios basta.

Nada te turbe, nada te espante;

quien a Dios tiene, nada le falta.
Nada te turbe, nada te espante:
sólo Dios basta.

Songwriters: Jacques Berthier

Let nothing disturb you,

let nothing frighten you,

he who has God

nothing lacks:

God alone suffices.

 

Everything passes,

but God stays,

patience

reaches it all.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=go1-BoDD7CI

Reflections on the Virgin Birth for the First Day of Christmas December 25

I believe the virgin birth of Jesus …

• ·         Affirms Mary’s essential role in God’s redemptive purpose by bringing Christ into the world through Jesus.
• ·         Affirms the indispensable importance of women through salvation history in the Hebrew Scriptures and in the New Testament.
• ·         Affirms that from creation women fully bear the image of God.
• ·         Affirms that as a young woman of righteous character, Mary’s testimony of her sexual experience (or lack thereof) is to be believed.
• ·         Affirms the essential goodness of the material universe we inhabit and enjoy.
• ·         Affirms the essential goodness of our physical bodies.
• ·         Points ahead, not only to Jesus’ resurrection, but to our hope of the resurrection of the body to eternal life.

I do not, however, make any pretense of understanding either biology or divine intervention in explaining the virgin birth. I well understand that stories, such as Matthew and Luke tell about the birth of Jesus are not intended to be reports such as we in our time might read in newspapers or history books. That does not mean they are not true or real but that they are told in a way to evoke wonder when embracing these profound mysteries.

Neither do I consider some form of doctrinal assent to the virgin birth to be necessary for personal salvation or authentic faith in Jesus. Nor do I use it as a test to determine with whom I will share fellowship in Christ. I am quite content to welcome as my partners on this journey any who aspire to trust and follow Jesus. I believe dialog about these mysteries ought to be for mutual edification rather than dividing into rival camps. I have every confidence that the Holy Spirit can use the words of Scripture to inform and enlighten anyone about the truth of the Gospel without my interpretation. I am also confident that the Holy Spirit can use conversations with fellow travelers to shape me and even use me to shape them.

That the virgin birth is only specifically mentioned in Matthew and Luke suggests that while generally accepted by the early Church, it did not occupy their attention as it has ours, particularly since the Enlightenment. Yes, it may be tangentially inferred from a few New Testament passages (Matthew 13:55; Mark 6:3; Luke 3:23; 4:22; John 6:42; 9:29; Galatians 4:4) and be regarded as logical with an understanding of Jesus’ being fully God and fully human (an attempt of human rationalism to explain a mystery that the New Testament asserts but does not explain). But it is not directly cited in the New Testament passages that contain very early, proto-creedal language: Romans 10:9; 1 Corinthians 15:3-4; Philippians 2:11; 1 Timothy 3:16; 1 John 4:2, 15.

I am very aware that I have friends from all across the theological spectrum who will take exception to something here, or even to my entire endeavor. So be it. I’m not interested in engaging in theological debate or persuasion. If I managed to prompt others to some reflection of the significance of the virgin birth at this season when it gets some public attention, well and good. If your pondering evokes awe at the wonder of the incarnation, I wish for you enriched worship through Advent, Christmas, and Epiphany.

To Be a Flourishing, Fruitful Tree in the Courts of God

Though I am aware that things posted on the internet do not change people’s opinions, recent world and national issues have prompted me to post what I hoped to be thought provoking comments. (Ah the illusions of writers!) For the most part, I get modest affirmation from people I already know are on the same wavelength and mostly ignored by those whom I know don’t see things the way I do. Disagreements are few and tend to seem silly to me. In this same timeframe, I have been concerned about a number of things in our family. Richard Rohr’s meditations for the week of December 9-15 focused on the importance of the interior life. I recognized that these exterior issues had distracted me from tending to my interior life and my contemplative life had withered some.

In response I made a point of getting a session of centering prayer in every day that week and refraining from commenting on current events (at least somewhat – I did post a few scripture and other quotes that seemed incisive to me but left them without comment.) I would have to say that I believed the centering prayer would grow as I resumed a more regular rhythm, but at first I wasn’t finding it particularly satisfying. Releasing the distractions was not easy. Then on December 22 I had what I would have to say was a vision prompted by my daily Psalm prayer rhythm (which I have kept in place for nearly 50 years). I felt I was gaining some consistency with the Jesus Prayer that day, then a vision of the green olive tree in the house of God that I had from Psalm 52:8 that I had read earlier came into wordless focus.

Toward the end of my centering prayer time, I saw the palm tree of Psalm 92:12, also planted in the house of the Lord, flourishing in the courts of God, producing fruit in old age. I don’t recall any biblical or archeological indication of trees growing in the Jerusalem Temple environs, or swallows building nests at God’s altars (Psalm 84:3) I suppose barn swallows might have nested in the eaves and other sheltered outdoor places. That doves, pigeons, and sparrows were sacrificed would seem to be contrary to the images here suggesting security, protection, nourishment, prospering, flourishing, and even bearing fruit (though the cedars in Lebanon don’t bear fruit per se).

Psalm 92:14 specifically mentions bearing fruit in old age. I had had my grandson Sam take pictures of the haircut I got the day before so I can show what I want the next time I get a haircut. Yes, a practical idea, but when I looked at the pictures I recognized myself as having arrived into old age. I know plenty of old folk who try to hang onto what they remember as the “good old days,” which seems to prevent them from living with joy in these good days. I want to embrace all that it means to be flourishing and fruitful in my 70s (now at 72). The images of the trees in the House of God seemed to call me to that today.

The House of the Lord for these flourishing, fruitful trees was not literally the Temple grounds but a great metaphor encouraging me to dwell in God’s presence, as I have been prompted renew my rhythm of centering prayer, in which I expect to receive the nourishment and satisfaction of this stage of my life as the olive, palm, and cedar trees in the House of God.