Fruitful Old Age

This morning, between boiling water for my breakfast tea and pouring it into the pot to brew I was struck with a bout of vertigo that sent me back to bed until 12:30 this afternoon. Candy and I swapped roles, and she became the gracious caregiver along with excellent support from our daughter-in-law Rachel. I had intended to work on preparing our income tax information. Perhaps I’ll get to that tomorrow as 6-11 inches of snow are predicted, so will not be going out tomorrow. After Meclizine and gradually taking some safe nourishment I began to revive. I was already dressed, but changed into sweats and spent much of the day in the glider, wrapped in a cozy blanket with a heating pad on my back that has had some pains off and on for about a week, taking time for a luxuriously leisurely walk through my lectio divina and Psalm prayers.

Today my focus was drawn to Jeremiah 17:7-8. “Blessed are those who trust in the Lord, whose trust is the Lord. They shall be like a tree planted by water, sending out its roots by the stream. It shall not fear when heat comes, and its leaves shall stay green; in the year of drought it is not anxious, and it does not cease to bear fruit.” I was immediately aware of the parallel image in Psalm 1:3. Those who meditation on God’s law “are like trees planted by streams of water, which yield their fruit in its season, and their leaves do not wither. In all that they do, they prosper.” This took me back to my reflections on Psalm 93:12-14 that I posted on December 23 last year.  “The righteous flourish like the palm tree, and grow like a cedar in Lebanon. They are planted in the house of the Lord; they flourish in the courts of our God. In old age they still produce fruit; they are always green and full of sap.” (I always chuckle at thinking of myself as full of sap.) http://nstolpepilgrim.blogspot.com/2018/12/to-be-flourishing-fruitful-tree-in_23.html  and to my reflections on needing to focus on my inner life and relinquish some of my external engagements. http://nstolpepilgrim.blogspot.com/2019/01/nada-te-turbe.html and http://nstolpepilgrim.blogspot.com/2019/02/i-held-my-peace-to-no-avail.html Then today’s Psalms brought me to Psalm 71:9,18. “Do not cast me off in the time of old age; do not forsake me when my strength is spent. … So even to old age and gray hairs, O God, do not forsake me, until I proclaim your might to all the generations to come.”

As I reflected on the image of a tree planted by a stream with roots that can get water even in drought on a day when my physical strength sure seems spent, I started considering what flourishing spiritually means for me in old age. Whether anyone else thinks 72 qualifies as old age, I take the 70 years, 80 if we are strong, from Psalm 90:10 as qualifying me, and I remember when Candy was in the ER in Dallas before being diagnosed with Alzheimer’s in 2016. The pharmacist went over the list of meds she was taking and questioned one in particular as being inappropriate for elderly patients. She responded, “I’m not elderly!” To which he replied matter of factly, “You’re over 65.” Perhaps not the best bedside manner, but it has helped us lay claim to the biblical imagery for old age. Yes, we hope to have a good decade ahead of us (my Dad made it to 83, perhaps I could make it to 85 in decent shape). Still I have recognized we are on the homestretch of our journey with Jesus, living in tents until we arrive at the city with foundations whose builder and architect is God (Hebrews 11:9-10).

So on this day of sitting on the sidelines, once I got where I could sit up and read, I have been pondering what flourishing and being fruitful in old age means for me. I remembered Father Dacian Bluma who was my spiritual director when we were he Wisconsin in 1997-2000. He was a Franciscan priest in his 90s. His diocese ministry assignment was youth ministry. He went to various diocese youth events with no program responsibilities. He just sat in a comfortable, accessible chair available to youth and adult leaders who wanted to just chat. I’m not 90 (and I may never be). Caring for Candy does call for more than sitting and chatting and must be my focus, which largely means being present to her. Perhaps just being open to presence in the community life of our family (near and far), Spirit of Peace Lutheran Church, Milwaukee Mennonite Church characterizes what flourishing and fruitfulness will be about in the anticipated decade ahead of us. Of course, this calls for keeping being present to Jesus a lively priority, much in keeping with my growing sense of call to nourishing my inner life and relinquishing external distractions that deplete peace and joy.