Weaned Child in God's Lap

For many years I have associated this drawing of Sein with a Child on her Lap by van Gogh (ca. 1882-3) with Psalm 131:2. "I have calmed and quieted my soul, like a weaned child with its mother." For me, the troubled lives of van Gogh and Sein make this all the more poignant.

Psalm 131 concluded my Psalm prayers for today, and I felt prompted to use that line from verse 2 as the anchor for my centering prayer this morning.

I also felt prompted to print out the drawing and use it as an icon (window) through which I could look at God and God's relationship with me.

In my centering prayer I typically interlace my fingers as Sein is doing and rest my hands in my lap, but in the last couple of weeks I have been aware of tension in my fingers when I do that, so have slipped my hands apart and just rested one on the other in my lap. Looking through Sein's fingers, I sensed that God is the one holding onto me. The child is not hanging onto Sein, but has arms wrapped comfortably around her waist. As I looked through the child's arms, I envisioned myself snuggling close to God, confident in God's grasp on me, enabling me to relax and release tension.

As I looked through the child's eyes, I focused my attention on the spiritual reality of God's face, both intense and comfortable. As I looked through Sein's gaze at the child, I received the gentle, loving gaze of God on me. No expectation except to be present to each other.

At Lauds this morning I sang "How Firm a Foundation" and these lines reverberated in my centering prayer. "You who for refuge to Jesus have fled" and "The soul that on Jesus still leans for repose." For those of you who have heard me sing, please don't laugh. I sing a hymn aloud first thing every morning, trusting that God takes joy in the praise and is able to translate the tune into something beautiful.

My Psalm prayers this morning started with Psalm 11, which concludes in verse 7 "The upright shall behold his face." I make no claim of being upright enough to deserve to behold God's face, except by the grace of Christ. However, I do believe I had a glimpse of it in the way my centering prayer, prayer Psalms, and Lauds hymn converged this morning.