I
am sure I am not alone in deriving considerable comfort from Psalms 19 and 139.
Even their invitations to examen seems gentle and welcoming.
“Who
can detect their errors? Clear me from hidden faults. … Let the words of
my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable to you, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.” (19:12,14)
“Search
me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my thoughts. See if there is any
wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” (139:23-24)
When
I come to these on the 19th of each month, I tend to linger there
and move past Psalms 49, 79, and 109 more quickly, telling myself I have
covered them without engaging with them. Today my Psalm prayers were delayed
until after taking my father-in-law to the hospital for a CT scan in
preparation for (hopefully easy) skin cancer surgery in December. Perhaps by
being nudged out of my routine, or perhaps because all of 2020 has jolted all
of us out of our comfortable routines, these less comfortable lines evoked
prayers of probing deeper into the heart of God than I am accustomed to. I didn’t
receive an incisive prophetic word to proclaim. Rather, I offer them as windows
that invite us to look past the conventional into the realm in which the Spirit
intercedes with groans too deep for words. (Romans 8:26)
I
encourage you to take some time with the totality of each of these Psalms,
perhaps enticed by these unsettling lines.
“Why
should I fear in times of trouble, when the iniquity of my persecutors
surrounds me, those who trust in their wealth and boast of the abundance of
their riches?” (49:5-6)
“Do
not remember against us the iniquities of our ancestors; let your compassion
come speedily to meet us, for we are brought very low.” (79:8)
“For
I am poor and needy, and my heart is pierced within me. I am gone like a shadow
at evening. … May my accusers be clothed with dishonor; may they be wrapped in
their own shame as in a mantle.” (109:22-23, 29)
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