Self-humbling in Order to be Exalted is an Oxymoron

This line at the end of the lectionary Gospel for next Sunday (October 27, 2019) has arrested my attention in my lectio divina this week. I have wrestled with how easy I find thinking of my intended humility in terms of spiritual superiority. “All who exalt themselves will be humbled, but all who humble themselves will be exalted.” -Luke 18:14

Yet, we live in a time in which hubris, pride, ego, and self-elevation are praised and promoted. I find these words from Thomas Merton to be a helpful antidote to my seeking to recognize the presence and activity of Christ in the very ordinary routines of my present life of caring for my wife, Candy, on her Alzheimer’s journey and her 92 year old, weakening father (who moved from Minnesota to a mile and a half from us just so we could care for him on this last leg of his life journey).

“It is supreme humility to see that ordinary life, embraced with perfect faith, can be more saintly and more supernatural than a spectacular ascetical career. Such humility dares to be ordinary, and that is something beyond the reach of spiritual pride. Pride always longs to be unusual. Humility not so. Humility finds all its peace in hope, knowing that Christ must come again to elevate and transfigure ordinary things and fill them with His glory.”
-Thomas Merton 1915-1968
No Man Is An Island

Suzanne Guthrie’s meditations for this week in Edge of Enclosure revolve around the ancient practice of the Jesus Prayer. I have used the Jesus Prayer (regularly but not exclusively) for well over 25 years, and her description of merging it with breathing matches my own experience. “Breathe in the words Lord Jesus Christ, son of God. And breathe out have mercy on me, a sinner.  … Breathe in the divine and breathe out that which is not yet divine.” I encourage reflective reading of her entire meditation on this passage at http://www.edgeofenclosure.org/proper25c.html

I do not want to turn this into a political diatribe, but I must confess I have been struggling with balancing my ordinary life caring for Candy and her Dad with responding to what seems to me to be a storm brewing not just for the US and the world but in what I see as a “time of trial” for the Church from which Jesus taught us to pray to be delivered. (Matthew  6:13 “Do not bring us to the time of trial.” NRSV). I am recognizing that some of my urge to speak out and even become active in responding to this storm may well be an inclination to exalt myself, and refraining not just from speaking and acting but from anxiety about this storm may be my path of humiliation.

I still believe that if Richard Nixon had come forward with a humble acknowledgement of a grave mistake in the Watergate affair he could have finished his presidency and been remembered as the one brought the Vietnam War to a conclusion, instead of being remembered by having “…gate” attached to a multitude of political scandals for the past 45 years. In that same vein, imagine the difference for public and political responses if instead of blaming the media and democrats for changing the venue for the G-7 from the Trump National Doral Golf Club (especially now that it has been reported that the change may have come in response to a call from republicans, including identified conservatives) Donald Trump had said, “I made a mistake with that selection. I should not be receiving benefit from something so important nationally and globally.” While I know that making these observations will inevitably be interpreted as political, I want to see them as connecting the impact of meditating on Jesus’ parable with the real events with which we live, as well as with my personal pursuit of pure humility. I long for the spiritual power of legitimate exaltation that rises from authentic humility.